[Music] and i'm gonna give you a warning i'm gonna give you a disclaimer this message goes deep for all of you that are faint of heart just want to shout and jump this is not gonna be your message this message will invade your privacy it will get into your business it will go into crevices and corners that may be uncomfortable but it is the word that the lord has given me and in as much as god has chosen to give me this message i must assume that somebody needs his message i want to go into areas that we don't talk about and i want to deal with him the way the holy spirit directed me will you release me to do that today we're going to the gospel of saint john chapter number 18 verse number 25 through 27 and there we will find the word of the lord very simple meanwhile simon peter was still standing there warming himself so they asked him you aren't one of his disciples too are you he denied it saying i am not one of the high priest servants a relative of the man whose ear peter had cut off challenged him didn't i see you with him in the garden and again peter denied it and at that moment a rooster began to crawl i want to talk to you from the subject he still wants you he still wants you and i'm talking about shameful disciples let's pray spirit of the living god i pray that you would fall fresh in this place anoint these lips of clay that they may be endowed with the kind of power that enables me to penetrate the hard calloused areas that we have built up not because we're mean but for survival sake help me to penetrate the way we medicate our pain help me to penetrate down to the depths of the spirit of men i feel you wanting to do some surgery this morning have your way as only you can do in the mighty name of jesus we pray let all the people of god say amen you may be seated in this presence i must say brother in the church said let's go to work so if you're out there just type it let's go to work several years ago i preached a funeral and i preached a funeral for uh a young man a minister who had gone through a scandal that had cost him his life and they found him dead and it was all over the newspapers and it was everywhere and it was a very difficult funeral to preach it was a very difficult funeral to preach because the people's minds were everywhere and the public was everywhere and it was all in the papers and all in the press and everything and everybody was waiting to hear what i had to say and when i walked out there my opening sentence is the way i want to open this message i said there is not a person under the sound of my voice who does not have something in your life that you would not want to read about in the front page of a paper immediately people responded to that i'm going to say it again there's not a person listening at me right now who does not have something somewhere in your life that would make you uncomfortable to have it read in the front page of the paper and yet somehow when we get somebody else's dirt [Music] we go absolutely bananas we attack them we laugh at them we join in we just at them and the people who are speaking about them are also guilty themselves what i love about god's word is the fact that god is open when he reveals to us in moments like this that the men that he used were simply that that they were men this is a very shameful moment in the life of a great man now great and shame don't seem like they go together but they do you can be great about this and still have shame about that come on talk to me somebody this is peter this is the guy that jesus said was the rock he's let down himself he's disciplined in himself he's disappointed the other disciples he's disappointed jesus he's denied that he even knows him and he has to live with it this text comes to ensure that we do not deify humanity because when we deify humanity we exempt ourselves from the possibility of being used oh you don't understand how profound what i just said was these men the apostles would become the foundation of the church itself it would be through them that the world would be evangelized once filled with the holy spirit they would be the ones who cast out devils their mere shadows would fall on men and they would be healed they would do the kinds of stuff that would make them look like gods but they were still men they would move in power they would subdue nations they would upset cities they would shake prisons they would start churches they would open ministries they would do amazing things but the bible is careful to give us moments of humanity to balance the opulence of the anointing so that you can make a distinction between the treasure and the vessel the bible says that we have this treasure in earth and vessels that the excellency may be of god and not of us and so just because the vessel is human doesn't mean that the treasure isn't good do you hear what i'm saying while their ministries were fabulous these these small glimpses into their lives would divulge the complexity of what it means to be human to be human is to be complex these were handpicked by christ but they were still men and somebody else would have picked him i said you made a bad choice but jesus himself picked this dude jesus chose him hand picked him called him take up your cross and follow me and yet when the heat got hot enough yes warmed himself by the fire of the people he used to fight he has switched uniforms at the moment that jesus needed him most he felt jesus doesn't need a boat ride he doesn't need a fish sandwich he doesn't need a tour of nineveh no jesus needs his disciples to be loyal at that moment the complexity of his humanity kicked in he was scared human capabilities allow us to love speak wisdom at one moment stare down danger at a moment another moment and still have moments of fear you cannot judge him in the isolation of this one moment he will ultimately ultimately experience matridge and give his life for jesus but at this particular moment he runs like a little girl he lies through his teeth and he is filled with shame the bible generalist generously allows us to add both their assets and their liabilities in how we look at the men in the bible this david a mighty man of valor a giant killing david but also a lust written david who ends up sleeping with bathsheba and killing uriah and yet becomes the king of israel come on somebody there's jonah who could preach with so much power that cows repented that cattle repented he preached with such anointing that this livestock repented the king repented everybody turned to god because of him and yet and yet he was a bigot he was a bigot and he ran from god and ended up being swallowed by a fish and when god saved nineveh the one who preached to him was mad at god and you tell me people aren't complicated people are complicated at one moment they say hosanna and the next moment they say crucify him and sometimes it's hard to tell your friends from your enemies because sometimes your friends act like your enemies and your enemies act like your friends and it is hard to tell who peter is because of the shame that is on this moment the shame that's on this moment and you have not lived until you felt shame it's not like a pain where you can take a pill for it it's not like an ache where you can get a prescription for it it's not something you can go to the doctor and eradicate shame is personal you can put makeup over it you can put hair over it you can shave and get your beard trimmed over it you can look good over top of it and nobody will know that behind it all the reason you didn't do more or go further or climb higher is because it was shame we live in a culture in a society today that people are afraid to run for office because if there's anything you ever did or sorta did or smiled at somebody or hug somebody you could lose your position who wants to run for an office to be shamed and humiliated in public even though you may be smart and be gifted and you you could have been king it is becoming less and less popular to be powerful because people are looking for heroes that are bigger than them they want you to be what they can't be they want you to be jesus and when you take a position or you take a role or you take a job or you raise a family or there's always somebody who's got you on their hit list who's ready to dig up something on you to say oh he ain't such a much she's not so much they're not so good they're not so this they're not so bad and it's one thing when it's a lie but it's another thing when it's true peter was warning himself you can rebuke a lie you can stare a lie down it almost will bother me when they allow me because when you allow me i got a quick comeback for you the truth shall set you free i'm good but what about with what they're saying about jewish is true peter is warming himself at the fire of the men he used to fight what a contradiction and you must understand that people are full of contradictions and complexities and what we do with people is once we discover that there's a complexity or contradiction we throw them away and you generally never hear think of all the people that used to be up that got thrown down that you don't even hear of anymore forget their position we don't even treat them like they're human anymore they disappear [Applause] and the young people say keep it 100. keep it at 100 will get you killed keep it at 100 will take your job keeping it 100 will destroy your life keep it at 100 will knock you to your knee you better keep it 100 with jesus [Music] if you got somebody that you can give 55 you're doing real good [Music] but 45 you got to i must tell jesus i must tell jesus how can i bear these burdens alone i must tell jesus i must tell jesus jesus can help me jesus alone there are some things that you must tell jesus because only jesus has the ability to weigh the assets against the liabilities and not to judge you through one slice one moment one period one stage of your life and it's not just the judgment of the masses and it's not just a judgment of the crowd it is also the judgment of yourself shame equals a negative self-judgment and viewing yourself as worthless shame stops you from going after your dreams shame stops you from living your life to the fullest it makes you punish yourself it's not just that you say to repent is to say what i did what's wrong and i'm sorry but shame goes beyond repentance it says because of what i did i am worthless and the truth of the matter is behind all of our clapping and skipping and jumping there's not a person in this room that then from time to time wrestle with oh it's easy to talk about when you talk about dead people dead people we can forgive their shame we don't have any trouble with david and peter and nehemiah and all of those people because they did but when they are living they are destroyed and when they are you sometimes self-punishment is the worst sentence any judge could execute on you the way you see yourself that's shame idiots relationships because if anybody comes along and tries to love you you won't let them love you because you don't love yourself if anybody tries to receive you you push them away because you don't understand why anybody would want somebody who is worthless and so you self-sabotage promotions on jobs and careers and relationships and even family life because even though they don't even know you think you're worthless they think you're an amazing woman you think you're a [ __ ] a [ __ ] some woman listened to and said he's a great man he's a good man and you think i'm worthless because i fail so we self-medicate and we drink and we smoke and we get high and we shoot up and we do other things and we do church even to medicate the pain of shame because church can be a narcotic [Applause] y'all are going to talk to me this morning i wish i had to talk back church church can be a narcotic it can be a way to anesthetize your pain and then there's guilt guilt is when you evaluate an action or behavior you did as unfavorable but as a person you still feel valued internally but if you're not careful guilt will turn to shame and it will affect every relationship in your life the daughter you didn't raise the son you gave away let's take it away from presidents and kings and prophets and let's bring it down to earth let's bring it down to the level the house you lost because you gambled the money away [Music] i'm talking about shames that we carry around with us the sun we had out of wedlock that doesn't fit into the family we now have and we don't know what to say to him because we create these shameful situations that become weight on our back that presses us down to the ground that leads us in a state of being where we are not sure how to deal with the messes we made and i know i've been saved and i know i've been washed in the blood but he's still standing there accusing me what do i say to him so i run the church and clap my hands and talk about the blood prevails the blood prevail but that boy don't care nothing about no blood [Applause] and every time you hear a baby cry you think about the ones you aborted i'm talking about shane i'm talking about shane i'm talking about the degree you got up under false pretenses i'm talking about shane you got the title but you don't know deadly about it i'm talking about shame and how do you live with it and how do you process it and i hate to tell you this because it's going to mess with your theology you can't dance it away no no no no no no you can't shout it away you can't speak entire and make it go away you can't prophesy and make it go away in fact some of the most judgemental self-righteous people in the church do it as a disguise to camouflage their own shame and they would rather come up with receipts on you than to admit who they are themselves i'm talking about shame affects the way you treat your daughter shame you're punishing her for stuff you did you drove away the man you got over the man you lost i'm talking about shame peter was utter shame the kind of torment that sometimes church doesn't help one man comes to jesus and he says i brought my son to your disciples and church didn't help him after he cast himself into the water after he cast himself into the fire and i brought him to you church people and you couldn't help him because it was too deep for you the importance of of the prodigal son story that jesus told is quite profound because he openly talks about a boy who thinks he's bigger than he is and thinks he's more ready than he is and says give me the portion of goods that fall up to me and he goes out to do his own thing and he has all these harlots and he has all of these friends and he has all of this money until it ran out and when it ran out they ran out with it and he ends up in the hall pin and you'd have to be an orthodox jew to understand how low a whole pen is to a jewish boy they won't even eat swine they don't even touch wine and now this boy not only is ready to eat why he is ready to eat that which the swine did eat and at the time he gets ready to come back home how do i face the father i failed how do i explain what happened to the things the living he worked his whole life for he didn't have any more life to work april he's old i wasted his life with hookers and strippers and i got nothing to show for it i got nothing and he's still alive and i gotta go home to this old man broke it's one thing to blow your own money it's another thing to blow mine tip lightly when you come to my house and you blew my money that's my money that was my life that was my lifesaver and you wasted it on what worse still he has to go home smelling like a pig smelling like something his dad would not touch smelling like something his daddy raised him not to eat what do you do when your shame affects the people you love affects the way they look at you affects the way they handle you at the thanksgiving dinner and yes they invited you but you know the way they look at you and you know what they think about you and you have shame and the power of the prodigal son story is that while the boy is rehearsing he's so afraid of his daddy that he's rehearsing what he's gonna say to his father that's a level of shame when you're trying to figure out what i i would say i am no more worthy listen to that i am no more worthy to be called that son make me a hired servant he's trying to get his message ready because he is full of shame and what blows the story wide open is wow he has yet a great ways off the father sees him coming and tears off the porch like he's a young man and runs out to meet him you know why he ran out to meet him because he still wanted him [Applause] in spite of the fact that he smelled like swine in spite of the fact that he had spent his substance and righteous living in spite of the fact that he had given his father's living to horse he said you're a shameful disciple but i i still want you you messed up but i still want you and i want you bad enough to put a clean robe on a dirty boy without a shower without a bath bring him the robe and the ring and let's celebrate him funk and all [Music] no shower no bath no cleansings no ceremonies no rituals no communions no church service no prayer meeting he put the robe on [ __ ] because he was still his son what is jesus trying to tell us about shame and god that god still wants you that he has he has a plan for your life that he already knows the inconsistency of humanity and no i'm not making excuses for sin and no i'm not taken down for righteousness and yes holiness is still right it's just that we are not holiness we are human [Music] holiness is still right but that don't mean i'm always right holiness is right but humanity goes wrong and some of you just hollering holiness is right you got some stuff too because i grew up with you and i know i i got the receipts [Applause] you ain't so such a bad don't tell me you're so such about just cause your dress go down to the floor don't mean you can't yank it up it don't mean i found out a long time ago dresses that go down go up [Applause] y'all ain't gonna talk back to me this morning cause y'all won't stand by the truth but jesus said he shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free them church hats come off yes they do in prayer cops and prayer bodies all of that stuff comes off because when you strip all of that down you're human you have to wrestle every day between your holiness and your humanity between your intentions and your realities come on talk to me somebody because this that i am preaching about today is just as real as anything you want to talk about the inconsistencies of man that's why marriages fail because you married you you married an idea and you went home with a man you married a concept but you went home with a woman a flawed woman a flawed man who don't always tell you everything to how to tell you who's not always open about what they ought to be open with who's a mother and may really love her kids but may not be a great may only be a good mother maybe a fair mother may be a bad mother but a mother nonetheless maybe a great mother not a great wife he may be a great father not a great husband and all of a sudden can you live with somebody who has disappointed you do you have the kind of love that runs off the porch to grab and hug a funky son with tracks in his arms or a dress around his way do you have the kind of love that jesus was talking about in the bible peter was warming himself by the fire of the people he used to fight watch out for people who fight stuff all the time [Music] because when you're always preaching about something when you are always talking about something [Music] don't be surprised when you find them warming themselves by the fire of the very thing y'all ain't gonna help me preach this morning you're not gonna help me preach this morning but i'm dealing with some stuff this morning that's deep and it may be dark but it's true and it's eating at us [Applause] it's eating at us it is not what we are eating that's making us gain weight it's what's eating at us it's eating at our peace it's eating at our rest it's eating at our joy it's eating at our marriages it's eating in our careers and our commitments and our self-esteem and somebody has got to preach about shame because the suicide rates are going up while we are quiet and silent and politically correct and beating our tambourines and dancing all over the world our kids are blowing their brains up and i will not keep sowing [Applause] [Music] i'm tired y'all i'm tired of short caskets i'm tired of 15 year olds being killed and drive by shooters i'm tired of three-year-olds getting shot through a door in our own house plan because we won't talk about life somebody has got to have the courage to talk about life that is not just a straight line and everything that just fall into place and peter the great apostle of the new testament is warming himself by the fire of the romans denying jesus [Music] and not just saying i'm not his disciple he said i don't even know him it's a shame but it's true and what if thomas thomas who said we must go and die with him where is he where is thomas not in the upper room later when jesus rose from the dead where is he at the cross because when jesus left for jerusalem thomas said look it up i must go and die with him but when that dying got real a lot of people say a lot of stuff until it gets real for better or for worse in sickness and in health to richer and for poor until you pee on yourself when it gets worse [Music] [Applause] don't be so carried away about what people say because thomas who was ready to die for him turns up m.i.a at the cross i see john i see mary i see the roman soldiers where is thomas at the cross no wonder he doesn't show up in the upper room shame no wonder he is not gathering with the rest of the disciples because they hide him saying i will die with him and they know he had shrank into the bushes and ran down the path and went over the hill and swam across the creek to get away from death and what about judas and his infamous betrayal of jesus i was reading a non-canonical book called the gospel of judas that has been discovered in the antiquities of history and then it it purports the ideology that judas really wasn't trying to betray jesus he was trying to put jesus in a situation where he would have to overthrow rome so that the kingdom could come and he thought that if he got jesus in an open confrontation with rome that jesus would show his power and rise to power and he would finally take on politics and stop healing sick people because i'm tired of you healing sick people that's not why i'm following you i'm following you because i want political power and the trick blew up in his face [Music] he didn't know they were gonna kill him [Music] if he knew they were going to kill him then why did he hang himself he hung himself because he got caught in his own web and it caused somebody their life and some of us have made decisions that cost other people their lives and their careers and their futures and it's hard to live when you got the masterful plot and the plot goes wrong can i go deeper i want to submit just for your curiosity it could be possible that had judas not hung himself he could have got the same he could have come and fallen on his knees and said forgive me and i know you don't believe it but i will defend it if jesus could be dying on the cross and say father forgive them for they know not what they do while they nailed him to the tree then surely [Music] judas didn't have to spill his blood he could have been cleansed by the blood but he he didn't do it because see it wasn't judas that was bad it was satan that had entered judas for the bible says satan having entered into judas which means that judas wasn't always filled with satan and jesus knew when satan had entered into judas and the bible says so but the problem with us is we can't tell when satan has entered we can't tell when our friends turn jealous we we can't tell when our wives fall out of love we can't tell when our husbands stop caring i'm talking about shame today i'm talking about a guy who couldn't get rid of his shame so he got rid of his life i'm talking to somebody out there who has a hard time living with a dark secret in your life and i am telling you that judas didn't have to hang himself and you don't have to blow your brains off i am telling you that jesus died for your kind of shame for what you did to yourself for what you did to your family for what you did to your body for what you did to your future you do not have to go to the potter's field and hang yourself or blow your brains out or od that you could come to jesus because he still wants you he still wants you the blood of jesus is stronger than the blood of judas the blood of jesus is stronger than the blood of judas god still wants you he still cares about you and finally as i come to my text peter the complicated betrayal of peter peter's name means the rock but the rock is now warming himself by the fire of his enemies isn't it funny when your name gets bigger than you when you got a great name as a great woman of god and a great person and a great professional and a great this and a great that and a great deal and you got a great name but you got a messy pass peter couldn't live up to his name he wasn't jesus called him the rock but he was knighted like a rock he was scared in the text i love the text because i love the word i love the word i love love love the word see i don't have to have the crowd i have to have the text if i have the text i don't have to have the crowd i love the text because it shows that we get to see men like peter in fluctuations that could possibly affect our admiration of them and yet we begin to understand how life really works we get to understand that peter is in a situation of fluctuation and somebody right now is in a situation of fluctuation and you are not living up to your highest ideals and god sent me to tell you he still wants you smell like swine but he still wants you you warmed yourself by the fire of the enemy but he still wants you you see peter didn't know that was in him he didn't know that was in him and a lot of us don't know what's in us what we're capable of because we buy into the myth and the legend and we believe our own headlines you ain't such a rock after all you're a rock about this but you are scared to death about that peter didn't know there's a text put my text up where jesus was questioning him before this happened and and he said he said to him in john 21 15 when they had finished eating jesus said to simon peter jesus love to get you at dinner jesus when they had finished eating jesus said to simon peter simon son of john do you love me more than these yes lord he said you know i love you jesus said feed my lambs again jesus said to simon son of john do you love me he said yeah lord you know you mean you're cool jesus you know i love you jesus said take care of my sheep the third time he said simon son of jonah john do you love me peter was hurt because jesus asked him the third time do you love me he said lord you know you know i keep telling you the same thing you know all things you know that i love you jesus said feed my lambs verily verily i tell you when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted but when you are old you will stretch out your hands and someone will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go jesus said this to him to indicate the kind of death by which peter was to die then he said follow me later jesus says to him before the [ __ ] crows you will have denied me three times and in my texts while peter is warming himself by the fight he's warming himself by the fire because it's morning it's early morning and you know how it's a little chill in the air in the morning and peter's a little cold and he's trying to be comfortable while jesus is about to be crucified are you trying to be comfortable while jesus is being crucified and i asked him one time weren't you with him no oh no no no i'm not one of them aren't you one of them galileo no no no i'm not one girl said i remember you in the garden i remember you in your strength i remember when you were cutting off the ears of the men you're hanging out with now max ladder god remembers you when you were on his team and now you're warming yourself by the fire of the people you used to fight and peter said i don't even know what you talking about girl get out of my face and he went to custody he gave me an essence he cursed her out peter peter the rock peter who would write the epistles peter who would deliver the inaugural message on the day of pentecost crushed her out i ain't got time to talk about cussing christians he cussed her out [Applause] he cursed her out to convince her i with jesus stuff i ain't got nothing to do with that i don't have nothing to do with that and he walked away because his name was better than his life and all of a sudden we see peter in utter shame the disciples didn't know it but he knew it bartholomew didn't know but he knew it james didn't know it but he knew it he knew that he was in with the wrong people while jesus needed him most he knew it no wonder he later says when jesus rises from the dead peter is one of the guys who said i go fishing because when you are full of shame you just want to get away who am i preaching to today what are you running away from that god has for you that god wants to do in your life that god has purposed for you but because of the nagging memories of your of your own inconsistencies you find yourself in a dilemma i am sent here today to talk to you god told me to tell you i still want you jesus rose from the dead with peter on his mind do you all hear the words that are coming out of my mouth jesus rose from the dead with peter on his mind he rose from the dead and said go tell the disciples i think it's mark 16 7 6-7 he says don't be alarmed he spoke to the women don't be alarmed he said you're looking for jesus the nazarene who was crucified he has risen he is not here he is not here he is not here he's gone he's up from the dead see the place where he laid this is where he used to be this is where he is but go tell the disciples and peter go tell the disciples it's one thing but out of all 12 disciples he calls peter by name he calls peter by name because peter doesn't think that he's still a disciple he thinks that he's messed up so bad that he's lost his place and he's lost his destiny and he's lost god told me there's somebody i'm preaching to today you think you messed up so bad that you ruined your destiny it's a lie the lord sent me here to preach to you to call you my name go tell the disciples and peter go tell the disciples and mary go tell the disciples and shawanda go tell the disciples and helen go tell the disciples and fred go tell the disciples and robert god is calling you by name [Music] [Applause] god is saying simply i'm going to meet you in galilee there i'm going to show myself to you just as i told you and in spite of your shame in spite of your shame i still have a plan for your life can you imagine as i close what it must have been like for peter to preach the inaugural address on the day of pentecost out of all 12 disciples peter is chosen to preach on the day of pentagon oh woman by the fire betraying shameful disgrace peter is raised up to speak to all of the people that he used to warm himself by the fire with and said oh house of israel know assuredly that this same jesus whom ye crucified have been made both lord and christ he preached the gospel to them he preached the resurrection to them he preached the power of god to them you can turn around from disgrace to grace you can come from failure to victory you can get rid of your shame [Music] [Applause] and it begins when you understand it begins marcus when you understand it begins when you understand he still wants you he still wants you your voice in the choir your message your service he still wants you he still wants you you're still his daughter you're still his baby girl mistakes and all he still wants you he's still got a plan for your life i'm not excusing your shame i'm not justifying your mistake i'm telling you that his grace is bigger than your disgrace and that he still wants you i'm telling you that god is bigger than your deepest secret your darkest night your daughter out of wedlock your disgrace your drug addiction your problem your pain your self-medication your trauma your family crisis the scandal in your family is not bigger than the grace of our god i came to tell you he still wants you i came to get to you before you end up in the potter's field self-destructing self-medicating self-destroying every opportunity over something you can't get rid of god loves you man that god actually loves you he still wants you and you thought you just zoomed in to be zooming in god wanted you to hear this word this particular message has got your name on it [Music] i can't help this she don't want you he still wants you i can't help that they talking about you he still wants you i can't help how they stare at you god said i still want you and so peter becomes one of the most powerful apostles of the new testament whose shadow falls on people and they are healed people are delivered because of him entire cities are transformed because of him and none of his shame stopped his destiny from coming to pass look me right in the eye none of it not the drugs not the affair not the disgrace not the turmoil not the flaw not the failure stops you from being a candidate for the grace of god to put your feet back on course daddy told me to tell you he said go tell my son that i'm running off the porch to get you that i want you and i know you ain't had a bath and i know you've been with the pigs but i want you and i know you've been warming yourself by the fire the enemy but i still want you and i know your dirty little secret and i know about your abortions and i know about your pain and i know about your nightmares that i know about your tears [Music] and as bad as all of that is i still want you [Music] there is not a person in this room that doesn't need this word there is not a person in this room that doesn't have to climb over top of something you know about yourself to do what you do like you do it he still wants you what are you gonna do about it what are you gonna do are you just gonna fake the funk and self-medicate and not go after your dreams and not climb too high and not let anybody come too close and not let anybody in and not let anybody love you and not let anybody have access to you because you know about your shame or are you gonna come to him right now [Music] there's no broken heart his loving hand can't feel [Music] he is waiting [Music] he still wants you [Music] there's [Music] [Music] he still wants you and that daughter that shamed you and embarrassed you and hurt your feelings [Music] his loving hands can't hear [Music] [Music] [Music] right no broken heart his loving hands can't hear no empty soul that he [Music] he's been up every night looking out the window waiting on his son to come back i know you come to church but do you really come to him he is waiting he's waiting [Music] his arms are outstretched right now [Music] some of you have been christians for years but you are still carrying deep shame it shows up in your relationships and it shows up in your situation and it shows up in what you won't go after and what you won't do he doesn't have to love what you did to love who you are [Music] i gotta go but i feel the power of the holy ghost in this place ow god is here [Music] he's still he's still watching [Music] can i pray with you i gotta get my head right my heart is right i gotta get my head right my heart is right but i'm haunted in my head i got images and memories in my head i got scars i got inhibitions i got insecurities i'm warming myself by places i shouldn't be warming myself i'm looking for comfort in the wrong places i need your help [Music] i know you got something great for me but if you and i don't fix this i won't i won't be there i won't get there i won't get it and so i'm coming to you i'll lay my hall on the altar and i give it to you and let the angels write down that this was the sunday that i dropped my shame that i was set free that i was made whole that i finally stepped over my path that i finally made it to who god meant for me to be i am a rock i am a rock i am a rock i am a rock i am [Music] you